


portia the parrot

by zhuzhubi



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mini-Fic, Mutual Pining, Pets, i love parrots, meet cute, my parrot is a good boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25149592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhuzhubi/pseuds/zhuzhubi
Summary: you’re doing a good job of keeping your crush on the man who comes into your shop every week a secret, until a parrot gives you away!(or, reid visits your used-bookstore every week because he has a crush on you, and one day your parrot reveals that it’s mutual)
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 118





	portia the parrot

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr at zhuzhubii, if you prefer
> 
> writing this as my parrot chatters in the other room. he's the best boy.

“Welcome!” squaks Portia the store parrot as _the cute Professor-looking guy who comes in every week_ walks in the door.

You gasp, “he’s here!” and nudge your coworker. 

“Who, the cute Professor guy?” she replies as she looks up from shelving books.

“No, Chris Pratt,” you deadpan, “ _yes_ the cute Professor guy! And keep it down! I don’t want him to hear us.”

“I don’t understand why you can’t just ask him out,” she rolls her eyes, “he’s obviously into you.”

“What!? Where’d you get that idea?” 

“Um, because he comes in every week like clockwork to “look at books”? And he reads like insanely fast, so I’m pretty sure he’s already gotten through everything in here. We don’t exactly have a huge selection”

“That’s not true! People drop off obscure old books all the time, there’s always new stuff in here-”

“Anyway, I’ve only ever seen him during your shift-”

“There’s this thing called a _work schedule_ that he might have to abide by?”

“And he sneaks glances at you when you’re not looking-”

“Ok. If you’re so sure he’s into me, why hasn’t he asked me out, huh? Answer me that.”

“Well, why haven’t _you_ asked _him_ out?”

“What?”

“Why haven’t _you_ asked _him_ out? You’ve got a crush on him, and _you_ haven’t asked _him_ out, how’s that any different?”

“Well I-uh-it’s just-,” you sputter, “that-that’s different.”

“Uh huh,” she says, “sure it is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“No, don’t ‘ _Nothing’_ me! I wanna know!”

“You’ll figure it out eventually,” and then, under her breath, “God knows both of you can’t hold out forever.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“Nothing!”

…

The very next week, you’re manning the cash register when you spot him walking towards the shop.

And as he steps through the door Portia gasps, “it’s him!” in a perfect replication of _your voice_ \- _oh my god I can’t believe she did that! Please take me away from this situation so I don’t die of embarrassment -_ and then she _catcalls_ as if _“it’s him!”_ wasn’t incriminating enough already.

 _Damn you, Portia!_ you think, _I say something about my crush once_ \- once! - _and you repeat it right in front of him! I love you, but really? Really!!?_

You’re really not sure how to act in this situation, so you just squeak out, “Welcome!” and hope your cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. 

He huffs out a little chuckle, “was that your voice?” he asks, and you _want to disappear please god why is this happening to me?_

“Ahahaha, don’t mind Portia, she says funny things all the time. You never know what they’re gonna pick up on, you know she _dings!_ like the cash register every time someone comes up to the counter? Of course you know that, what am I saying you’re here all the time - not that I notice you every time you come in! I don’t! It’s just that you’re here almost every week and you always come at the same time, so I’m always the one working, and the shop’s not that big, you know? It’s hard not to notice people. 

“And I taught Portia to catcall a few months ago and now she won’t stop doing it. It's gotten me into some awkward situations with customers when I’m the only other person in the store. Kinda exactly like right now, actually, so if we could just forget this ever happened I would be eternally gratef-”

“I like you too,” he blurts out, and your heart damn-near stops beating. 

“Huh?” you say with grace. If it’s any consolation, he looks almost more shocked over his admission than you do. 

“I-I’ve already read most of the books in here. I came in the first time because I was searching for a specific edition of a book that’s been out of print for a few years now. I left my old copy in a hotel in Houston when my team was there profiling a serial abduc- uhhh, anyway I lost my old copy and was hoping to find a replacement here, and I did, actually! It was in good condition too, and I love seeing worn books because it means they’ve been read over and over and too many people don’t appreciate physical books nowadays, you know? But some people really don’t treat their books very well - like letting the cover get torn off, that’s the worst! - so I was thrilled to find a copy in good condition-

“I’m rambling, aren’t I? I do that. Ok, I’ll get to the point,” he takes a deep breath, “I like you. I saw you the first time I came in here and wanted to get to know you better, but I’m not the best in social situations? Morgan - my coworker - thinks I’m being silly coming here every week and not asking you out, but I was just way too nervous at first. And then, I convinced myself you weren’t interested because people usually think I’m annoying, but I still wanted to see you so I kept coming, is that weird? 

“Anyway it seems like maybe you like me too? But if I’m reading this wrong, I’ll just go-” 

He’s turning to leave, and _no way_ are you gonna let that happen now! “Nonono, you’re not reading this wrong, don’t go! I do like you!”

“You do?” he turns back, and _god_ _how is it legal for someone to be that adorable?_

“Yeah, I do, um, do you want to get coffee sometime? Like, with me?” you ask with trepidation.

“Y-yeah! That sounds great! Uh, my work schedule can get kinda chaotic, so I’ll give you my number and we can plan something out?” which is exactly what you wanted to hear - _his phone number, yesyesyes!_

“Yeah here, I’ll text myself so you have mine too,” you say as you stretch out a hand to receive his phone.

Your cell makes a cute little chirp ( _and then Portia makes a cute little chirp - cheeky bird!_ ) when you receive the text. Neither of you really know what to do now, just kinda blush and stare at each other awkwardly. 

He breaks first, “so, um, I’ll text you then?”

“Yeah, that sounds great! Ugh, I wish we could go now but I’m closing today so,” you say with mixed excitement and disappointment. 

“Oh, well uh, see you soon!” he starts walking out of the shop, then turns back and waves (which you bashfully return), before actually leaving this time.

You turn to Portia and say, “Portia, you’re the best. Don’t ever change, I love you.”

Portia replies, “good girl!” which she says when she wants a treat, so you give her one. She obviously deserves it.


End file.
